|The struggles of a not-so-cunning linguist.
||[Mar. 13th, 2006|03:47 pm]
I was thinking over the last while that I've lost rather a lot of my subtlety. While I can certain blame this on the amount of time spent with a particular individual, and other events, I reckon it might be time to try reverting to a more interesting state of being. Of course, trying to revert to a state of subtlety is an incredibly difficult thing.
One thing that Kara said to me recently, is that she initially thought I was FtM because of the way I was behaving when I was with Jack.
I've also noticed that my active vocabulary has narrowed considerably. When I say active vocabulary, I don't mean the words I know, but more in terms of the words that I actually use, and how I use them. Case in point, the amount of times I've used the phrase "damned near" over the last while, it's mildly scary. There are many other ways I can say it, and all with slightly different inflections.
This isn't an attempt to be pretentious, it's an attempt to broaden my mind again, and some sort of attempt to return to a level of communication that I quite enjoyed - the ability to say the same thing to two people and to convey two very different messages to both depending on what language we've built up between us. Case in point: http://tearsofzorro.livejournal.com/2005/02/22/ - Ok, it's angsty and all kinds of things, but there were certain other levels that actually conveyed how I felt at the time. The reason I selected this is that it's not that subtle, it's just obvious enough that it can be explained.
Anyway, the whole point is to see if I can get out of this sort of brash state. I'm not sure it quite works for me. I think it works when it's my exception, not the rule - I think it's the shock value. This doesn't mean I need to be shy or anything, just communicative in a different sense.
Who knows, it may help with my programming.