||[Sep. 23rd, 2010|02:55 pm]
This is one of those little non-specific rants that is actually directed at nobody on my friends-list. It's more that I need to spew something, and to do so in certain media would cause problems.|
I am not a font of interpersonal communication. I am a listener and a forgetter. Lots of people do not realise that I do not remember conversations with them on a day to day basis. The answer to, "What exactly did they say" will never be exact... unless I happen to be talking to the person I had the conversation with. Actually, I'm more of a compartmentaliser.
I learned to do this from college politics. Being a hanger-on to political circles meant that I came across information that shouldn't be shared, and that I couldn't use myself. I had many conversations that should be forgotten and frequently were.
I still compartmentalise. I am still willing to have a chat with people, and I am definitely willing to listen but I'm not going to pass on what one person tells me. I will listen to the both parties. However, if either want me to cross lines and tell them what the other party says, I'll have to stonewall them (yes, that's right I will bring them to Greenwich village and I will riot... actually, no) and not give them information. It brings me no joy to do so, and it's bloody difficult for me, but it's best for all that I stay quiet.
I have one friend who GETS that. The other party, also a friend, doesn't. That other party does not get the fact that I'm trying to tell them not to ask, and to respect the fact that I'm asking them not to pump me for information. They don't. They continue to ask.
It. Makes. Me. Want. To. Fucking. Scream.
Instead of screaming, I post to LJ. Sorry LJ.