||[Nov. 1st, 2009|08:31 pm]
Ugh, I haven't updated in a while. |
Well, if you wanna know, I've been sick, a lot. Well, once, just after coming back from Scotland, and since about Wednesday this week. I thought it was ok, but it turned into a real coughing fit on Thursday, to the point that I went home, and stayed home Friday - well, I say stayed home, it implies some conscious choice. I was zonked out for the guts of 24 hours.
With folks being away in foreign places until yesterday, I didn't actually realise until Saturday afternoon (after missing Feile Draiochta because of stupid disease) that I have no fucking voice. Well, I kinda do, but it's scratchy and not something that I would like to have as a permanent feature of my life, let's say.
Of course, I am beginning to wonder if it's not quite sickness, but my body trying to tell me something. Seriously, if you meet someone who's lost all the hair on their body and who has just lost their voice, what would would those two symptoms be signifying?
I guess there might be a point to doing some emotional digging... although I know that if I do, there'll one special little gem that will have to be looked at, and I am in no way looking forward to that prospect. It's not something I talk about with friends, although some do know. It's not something I wear on my sleeve or tell a lot of people about because... well, because. And no, I'm not talking about it here, and I would appreciate it if those that don't know, don't ask. If I tell you, I'm pretty sure your first reaction isn't that you'll feel blessed or trusted enough that I dumped pretty much the bulk of my emotional baggage on you.
In fairness, I'm probably over-reacting, and all this is just a by-product of my current infection and will be over once I'm my vocal self again, but it is still enough to shake me and make me wonder if I need to be re-evaluating my life at the moment. (I'm like lisp, I'm a lazy evaluator)
In the meantime, apologies to everyone whose parties I couldn't get to.