||[Jan. 20th, 2008|01:13 am]
So, our remaining dog, Susie, is getting very bockety. She's had arthritis for a good while. In fact, just before Sparkle died, my parents brought Susie to the vet, just in case she had to be put down, for fear that she'd drop dead during the holidays; it turned out that it was arthritis and all she needed was a good big dose of anti-inflammatories.
Now, the arthritis is getting her down again, despite stronger and stronger drugs. She can't bear to be touched, and her personality just doesn't show through any more. Seriously, imagine a bubbly "nuttin's gonna get me down" cheerleader type of person, and then put it into a wicklow collie. But it seems that she's just hurting a lot more right now, and it's been coming on for a while. She's just lying around more, not really engaging. She can't manage the steps out to the back garden, and is too set in her ways to go any other way when she needs to go to the toilet, meaning that we have to lift her back in. She can't really be touched without causing her pain.
What has to be done is obvious. Yet, every fibre in me is screaming "No", even though logically it's the best thing. We have an appointment with the vet on Monday, primarily for a second opinion, but unless he has something drastically different in mind, we know what the outcome is. Besides the obvious logical/emotional conflict, there's a bit of me asking "What if things could get better?" and "Why do we make that decision for her?". I really wish there were ways to ask them. I know that it's better, but it never feels that way.
Add to that the fact that this is probably the last dog, or pet in general, that will be in this house. My parents are both working, and I'll either be in college or working for the foreseeable future. There's no chance of another being brought into the house, because nobody could look after them while they're young. So, it's pretty hard that it's she's the last pet I'll have.
There's more about this that I want to talk about, but I think that's enough for now.