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So, no blonde jokes were told. And so, I live. Actually, it wasn't… - The tissue of the Tears of Zorro [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[May. 19th, 2005|12:55 am]
[mood |gigglyBizarre]
[music |Marilyn Manson - Lunchbox]

So, no blonde jokes were told. And so, I live.

Actually, it wasn't too bad. Yay! I christened my OpenBSD top - i.e. wore for the first time. Wore that and jeans, and wow, I feel kinda cool. It's nothing big or clever or elaborate. Just... Me. And severly underdressed compared to others.

The people there are quite nice. Just extremely blonde. And dear christ. Talking to them after... I feel like I'm different breed! So, one woman is talking after about how when she was driving her car, in girl mode, a tire went flat. Because she was "en femme" she wasn't going to change the tire, even though if she wasn't en femme, she'd change it in an instant. It wasn't really about clothes I'm gathering, but more about her role... if you get what I mean. So she drove on it for a 1/4 of a mile. Ruined the tire. What in the hell? If I am capable of doing something, and I need to do it, I won't stop myself because it's not appropriate. If it has to be done, it needs to be done, so I'll do it. Yes, clothes and hands will get dirty, nails will get broken and work will be done, but I haven't changed THAT much.

Still, the best comment of today goes to one person, the caffeine hater, who said "Oh, they say progesterone is bad. It's a steroid so you shouldn't take it." - my reply to "It's a steroid" was "So's oestrogen". Gah! I mean, seriously, if something is a steroid, it just means that it's a particular class of lipid, with a crunchy, crunchy carbon skeleton. It's a chemical with a particular form! Yes, all steroids will have some general reaction associated with the human body, but it doesn't make them necessarily "Bad". Lovely girl, but wow, she should stay well away from sciences!

Anywho, I got complimented on how I look quite natural. One of the best compliments I can get, in my books.

So I don't know if this will work. I'm trying to create an unlabeled cut. If it works, this could be fun. If not, well, I'll waffle anyway.

I was thinking. If bees don't reproduce on an individual level, but instead delegate to a Queen: do the bees that don't reproduce have to deal with any sexual frustration? Actually, I just decided to read up on bees in wikipedia. I was going to go on about how the bees must know they'll never get any, and that they're just gagging for it. As a result, they'd have to take cold comfort in the idea that they were aiding in the reproduction of plants while they havest the flowers.

Bee 1: Dude! You'll never believe what happened when I was harvesting!

Bee 2: ...You say the same thing every time... get over it!

Bee 1: I was out, like harvesting, and then I found myself in the middle of a flower orgy!

Bee 2: Yes, we're bees, we have a habit of doing that... It's a hazard of the job!

Bee 1: I felt their long sensuous stamen rub longingly up against me, as if yearning for the touch of my furry little body. And then I was covered in the product of its love! And I flew to another flower, where...

Bee 2: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I do not want to hear about your orgy stories with flowers!

Bee 1: I think it's a beautiful natural thing! And I LIKE it! I think it'll be part of my lifestyle

Bee 2: Oh, crap, another flowery! OI! Stop yiffing that flower!

However this is one of those occasions where The Truth is so much more entertaining! Apparently the worker bees do get to mate. So they have a sex drive. But apparently they die after the join the Metre High Club with a queenie. So, they get to have sex once, then they die. I wonder if the bees know this?

Bee 1: Hey babe, wanna yiff?
Queen: Sure

*They yiff while flying*
*Bee 1 hits ground
Bee 1: Wow, that was so good, it feels like I died and went to heaven!
Bee with sythe: YOU DID

What a crap deal! This worker waits all his life to get a fuck and then what happens? He dies. So, my question is, is it the orgasm that kills him, or is it something else? Because if it was the orgasm, how many teenage bees die from masturbation?

Teenage Bee: Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

*Older Bee walks in*

Teenage Bee: Damn! Can't you give a guy some privacy?

Older Bee: Don't do that! Don't you know what will happen?

Teenage Bee: *rolls eyes* What? I'll go blind?

Older Bee: No! You fool! You'll die!

Teenage Bee: Oh! Best not do that

Older Bee leaves. Teenage Bee gets back to business. The Funeral is held the next day.

Actually, how would gay bees get on? They'd all want to be bottoms, if they knew what was coming. If not, it'd be entertaining.

As you can see this is a product of a messed up mind. Still, any further bee reproduction ideas, please leave them in the comments!

[User Picture]From: abigailb
2005-05-19 06:17 am (UTC)
i thought pretty much all worker bees were intertile females? or is that ants? anyway, that would mean that if they are having sex with the queen, they are all gay. :)
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[User Picture]From: tearsofzorro
2005-05-19 05:11 pm (UTC)
In which case, they at least know they aren't the only gays in the hive. :)

I can imagine the support groups now.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)